meet the data bitch, mofos

So I have not been blogging and I fully intend on taking down much of my archives and stashing those posts away offline (to the limited extent that anything can be deleted from the internets). But this is not to say that I don't intend to return to blogging, just that I intend to be more guarded and more general.  There are many, many things that occur on a daily basis that I find repulsive, suspect, irresponsible, corrupt, and even abusive but the internet becomes a smaller place all the time and I can't rely on the technological deficiencies of others to keep me safe forever.  Really, I'd love to be the gossip-whore and lay it all out there but I can't afford it.  Sure, there are only about a dozen people who have ever read this blog but it only takes one (the wrong one) to get me in trouble.

Anyway, that's really just saying more calmly what I've already posted before.  I'm technically not even teaching right now, despite retaining employment at the same school I've been at for the last two years.  This is simultaneously a relief and an insult.  I keep looking at the middle school math teacher and I keep thinking, "That should be MY job - those are MY kids."  And no one else should be scarring my kids but me, dammit.

I worked the 8th grade LEAP remediation over the summer along with an English teacher and I crammed all the math into one month that was humanly possible.  Between two teachers and 3 weeks of instruction and 1 week of testing we got more than a dozen failing 8th graders into high school.  So, coming off that accomplishment, it is only understandable that I feel that the current 7th and 8th graders (my former 6th graders) should be in my classroom preparing to totally dominate the Spring 2010 LEAP test.

Oh, wait - I don't have a classroom.  Or students.  Meet the Data Bitch.  I coordinate the benchmark tests, create the databases, crunch the numbers, examine the correlations, find the weaknesses, track the progress, and generally spend most of my day grading tests and staring at a computer screen (my own personal MacBook, because I haven't been given a school computer or desk).  My "office" is the un-air conditioned room full of books and supply boxes that I have commandeered over the last few days because my make-shift table in the 60-degree computer lab is an unbearable and isolated place to work.  I've been kicked out of other rooms and I keep my old teaching supplies in a cabinet in the social studies teacher's room (kids, keep your sticky fingers off my UNO Cards and my Monopoly board!).  The supply closet is a little warm this time of year, but I just found out that it is illegal, due to the unfinished nature, for them to put students in the room for anything so there is almost no risk of being told I have to move again.

This was not my first choice, this job.  That's all I'll say about it here.  But ultimately, it's not the most awful thing that I could be doing right now and I'm rather proud of sheer quantity of useful data and statistics I've been able to produce using my custom-built databases.  I feel so nerdy.  Also, the less emotionally-demanding and moderate stress level of this job is going to be a plus when I get into full swing back at UNO (starting my certification process all over again).  It is also giving me a very broad, school-wide perspective of the students at my school.  I can see hard evidence of progress and achievement that I couldn't see before, too bogged down in my own little classroom bubble of worry.  And let me tell you, folks, this is turning out to be a truly eye-opening experience.

So I'm hoping to take this blog on a slightly different course - a detour, if you will - over the course of the next year or two.  First, I'm getting into this idea of how best to assess and track the achievement of students over the course of a year and over the course of their education.  Tracking them is now my job, after all, and I work at an institution that strives to offer instruction that is "data-driven."  What is data-driven instruction?  What should it look like?  And what makes for good data, anyway?  What does all this standardized testing really tell us anyway and how do our NOLA kids rate, really?  Second, since I am back in grad school working on my certification again and ultimately aiming for my masters degree, what's the research say about how education should operate?  What does a good education look like?  What does education of educators look like?  I've realized over the last couple of years and many conversations with my most patient boyfriend that a lot of the educational mumbo-jumbo that I've come to take for granted as normal is not intuitive to the general public.  Considering just how complex and nuanced getting just one kid properly educated has become, it is ridiculous how uneducated the public is about public education.

Allow me to throw out a quick poll on a few topics:

1.  Inclusion - do you know what it is and what it means for your kids?
2.  What's the difference between Special Ed and 504?  (Do you know what 504 means?  Negative 5 points if you tell me 504 is an area code.)
3.  Discipline--nevermind, don't even get me started.

do you really know who is teaching your children? really?

I guess now is just as good a time as any to make an update. It was a calm, mostly uneventful day considering that we have the next week off so I'm in a calm and (gasp!) rested mood this evening. I gave the kids a math and a science test today that kept them busy and silent all day except for the "enrichment" period at the end of the day. Once my kids finished their tests, I pulled out the scissors and paper and had them start making snowflakes to decorate the room. It was eerily pleasant. I really have to cherish the brief periods when I can just enjoy my students.

The other 6th grade teacher has been out for three days at a conference and it's really been kind of a relief for me and the kids. My 2nd period students are calmer and less agitated when they switch class. Of course, two of my most agitating students have been suspended as well and it makes an enormous difference in the mental health of that class. I'm just relieved when these students are gone. I have done as much as was in my power to do and it didn't help the situation. I gave these two particular students as many chances as possible and tried just about everything I could to motivate them and alter their behavior. For nothing, no payout. They fail and they fuck with the other kids and they try to play me and they act like little dipshits with no respect for other people.

There really is no saving them all. Maybe someone's got the energy for these kids - I hope something changes for them. But I've got 38 other kids who are losing out because of two who threaten and bully. And I'm by no means an expert or vet at this. Maybe one day I'll be better at dealing with this crap, but until then I gotta do what I can do. And it will be without these boys.

That said, I have a couple other tough jobs as far as academics. With the struggles that my students have with our latest topic - the dreaded fraction! - I can't shake the feeling that so many students are failing for one of two reasons (perhaps two of two). First question: has anyone been holding these kids accountable for anything? Have the students been getting away with pretending to learn things with other teachers? Second concern: Or previous teachers have just not actually properly covered this material before. The ground work for fractions was supposed to have been established started a couple of grades back. But I am not confident that they ever received it.

The more I know of other teachers and education professionals in this city, the more convinced I become that these people are not fully equipped to be teaching some of the things that that they are hired to teach. We can't find paraprofessionals that can handle the 6th grade curriculum (I've had two paras tell me that they learned x, y, or z math skill during a lesson in my class - so how can I expect them to know enough to help the kids?!). And the teachers themselves (at least in my experience) act out and exhibit the same behaviors that they find unacceptable in their students! They expect their students to shut up and be on time and do whatever they are told (no matter how ridiculous) but they don't shut up or show up to work or keep up with their responsibilities. It can be highly discouraging.

The fact that a couple of people still have a job at my school at all really makes me question those in charge. Seriously. If you really give a damn about children, then how the fucking fuck could possibly keep these people on the payroll in good conscience? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND, DEAF, AND CRAZY?!

I mean. I know I'm not the best teacher ever but I know my content, I don't treat my students like dirt, I work my butt off to teach and hold them accountable, and I love my kids even when they're dickheads. I can't even claim half that for some of my colleagues. That concerns ME who is merely the math teacher. Someone explain to me why that doesn't seem to concern some administrators or parents?

Let me detour a moment. I only just recently was able to internally process this incident enough to even share it with my boyfriend, let alone the interwebs. A couple months ago, while I was discussing a student with the counselor, the social worker approached me to give me a "heads up" about yelling at the kids. That a visitor had overheard me and expressed concern and that usually the social worker would have to report it as abuse but she wanted to warn me first.

I was floored. Too shocked to even process exactly what was going on. I politely agreed that I also was concerned about how much yelling was going on and that I was working to cut down on that before she'd even mentioned it. The idea that I would ever be abusive to my kids was gut-wrenching. But when students are being abusive to each other and ignoring me, especially with the things that were going on early in the year, if I was yelling it was with the kids' individual and personal safety in mind. Sucks, but I'd rather yell to restore order in a chaotic and potentially dangerous situation than stand by and watch kids hit and chuck stuff across the room at each other with no recourse (can't send 'em out - they'll just go start a fight).

Since this time, however, the things that I have observed have made me wonder why the hell something isn't being done about some other adult actions that are most certainly abusive. It's so bad some days that some teachers have threatened to quit rather than put up with the bullshit. After so long of taking the social worker's comment very personally and hard, I've started to wonder why the social worker hasn't reported these other adults for things which are most certainly abusive and illegal. Either someone is not paying attention, or it's just getting overlooked because...because WHY? Excuse me for even thinking the thought, but did the white chick get singled out because she's white? Oh wait - heaven forbid I insinuate that a black person might somehow do something racist. Racism is something that only white people suffer from (at least that what some of my students have expressed to me!).

Since my last post, I've been preparing the laundry list of serious concerns I have to bring to the boss. I can't in good conscience let this crap continue. It's fucking up my kids and god knows that their lives are fucked up enough without getting it at school too.

Still, it is tempting to look over at greener pastures (or I suppose greener school systems) and consider what it might be like to work at a school where there is less talk, less crazy shit, and more working about setting their students on the right track to a better existence. But then...who's going to look after my babies?

something rotten in denmark

Today has been a most discouraging and disturbing day. There is a lot going on in my school that I am concerned about. My children are imperfect and live in a culture that supports abuse, neglect, irresponsibility, and lack of vision. I fight every day to show them something different. And everyday others around me perpetuate the cycle. Even those I once thought to respect.

I cannot be more explicit here until I've confronted the problem and decided what my part to play will be. But then, maybe there is no decision. I have to do something and it means making enemies or maybe just having to deal with losing. I don't know.

It's been a hard day. A hard week. A hard month. And my kids are the ones paying for the hypocrisy and inadequacies.

I have this hope (almost a goal) that if I ever had children of my own that I would eventually feel confident sending them to a school in my neighborhood. But right now, I don't see it happening. You would never send your children to my school, charter or not. You'd be fucking crazy. This absolutely depresses me.

november 4

I voted. Got let out of work early and rushed my butt to the Algiers court house. I told my students that I would not discuss my vote. Some immediately understood that a vote is private. When I refused to say whether I was voting for Obama this morning, there was a garbled racial comment and some said, "She's voting for McCain!" (And then had no idea what to do when I retorted, "Just because I'm white?") I told them that McCain and Obama could walk into my room and I would not tell them who I was voting for. It's my vote. I don't want my opinions to taint my place as an educator. Like I tell them, it's not my job to give you the answers. It's my job to teach you to use your brain.

Even so, this is going to sound dumb, but it's true...

...I voted for my kids. I voted for not letting them be forgotten or written off.

two steps back?

So horribly frustrated with my kids right now. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm reliving last year. I don't know why they act this way, I don't know why I can't get them to stop taunting each other, I don't know why I can't get them to pay attention, I don't know why things seem to be getting worse instead of better and I don't know why the things I do to make it better just never seem to work. I hate that I snap at the stupidest things. I hate that I put up with the things I put up with, that I feel helpless to stop the kids from poking, teasing, throwing, yelling, etc. I hate that other people seem to get a response from my kids but I can't.

What is it about ME? What's wrong with ME?

There was this great segment on This American Life on Sunday about a program in Harlem and Baby College for low-income parents. Everyone should go listen to it. It reminded me of my kids and their parents and now it's kind of making me feel helpless and angry.

I don't know what the sudden burst of pessimism is about. Just tired, I guess. Worn down and trying not to show it, trying not to crack. Tired of being treated like I don't exist by bunch of punkass little adolescents. Tired of the show. Tired of being the one who has to put on a front in the face of all the whining and pushing and shoving and picking and picking and picking. Tired of feeling like I'm repeating some of this crap from last year.

I'm tired of my help and my support not being very helpful or supportive. I'm tired of not having the special ed teacher when I'm supposed to be working with the special ed teacher. I'm tired of having paraprofessionals that don't know my content and correcting the mistakes that they tell my children are correct, tired of paras who won't help my kids because they can't look past the behaviors, of feeling like I'm in this madhouse of a classroom trying to pull a miracle out of my ass.

Really, this is the most frustrating thing that I run into over and over and over: the adults who are supposed to help my kids academically who are hurting my kids because they don't know the content! It makes me want to scream. If you won't help with the behaviors and the accommodations that my students are supposed to receive, at least you could not confuse the shit out of my students who don't need as much help.

Fuck this shit.

sleep is for people who don't have kids

My children are losing their minds in hurricane mode, just like everybody else. Today, I realized first thing that it wasn't even worth fighting the hurricane chatter and trying to be a state standard-abiding GLE pusher. So instead of talking about outliers and data sets, we talked about hurricanes. All day.

The miracle of the smart board is that I can do that. I had internet access and UnitedStreaming account (not to mention google). So we looked up information about Gustav, information about Katrina, how to measure strength of hurricanes, how hurricanes form, and whatever else the kids could ask. Videos, Saffir-Simpson scale websites, news, graphs, photos...you name it. The kids, for the most part, were eager to be involved and eager to be heard and full of questions.

It was still a tough day, behavior-wise and for other reasons. But it was kind of an inspiring day too. The behavior is such a hurdle to get over but motivation is not. They want information and they have so many ideas (great and/or misguided) and they want to contribute - but it's got to be relevant to them. And THAT is so fucking difficult sometimes. Figuring out what to tap into and how to integrate that with our strict curriculum.

Broke up a fight at the end of the day today in my classroom. Lots of frustrating things going on in my second class. Lots of frustrating things going on outside my classroom and I'm not sure what to do about them. But in some ways I feel like I am carrying the 6th grade on my shoulders this year, moreso than before. I learned that the hard way at the end of the last school year - that there may not be someone else holding the kids accountable for their learning all the time. That I've got to find a way to fight for my kids subtly because others won't stand up for them.

D is my classic example. D and I knocked heads a lot last year. He's got a reputation. But this year is something else. Things are not perfect. I have to take him into account every moment that he is in my class. But he's beginning to open up. Even when his behavior is atrocious, like a day earlier this week, I can work with him. I can pull him aside and he doesn't immediately fight against me. He's telling me that it's not me, it's not school, it's something else - something is wrong and he can't talk about it yet but something is wrong and he needs help and he wants help and he wants things to change. Unfortunately there are so few people who can see past his outbursts and his posturing and pacing and gnashing his teeth at the world. He NEEDS all the support we can give him and I see that there are glaring gaps in that support system that I cannot control. I can't control others around me. But it makes it no less frustrating to see this kid neglected and written off by some of the adults who he needs the most.

I am terrified that I will lose this kid.

After listening to my kids today, I am terrified for them, terrified of losing them, and heartbroken for them and the way their lives are being jerked around by the uncertainty and distrust caused by a government that has failed them and failed to protect them. Because who is going to step up? Who can guarantee their future or their safety? Who is going to reassure them and give them stability?

They ask me if I will come back. Of course I will come back. I won't leave you. I can't leave you. I'm not fucking giving up now.

the answer is no

Good day in the classroom today overall. My second class of mostly boys needs some serious whip-crackin' but I ain't playin' benefit-of-the-doubt like I did last year. I told the class that if they were going to abuse the privilege of having a voice in my classroom that all their voices belonged to me until further notice. Some of them had the ownership of their feet commandeered until further notice as well. This seemed to get their attention at least for a little while especially when one mouthful of trouble couldn't remember what silence is. The scene looked something like this:

Student talks to another student across the room, despite directions to complete assignment silently.
Me: Do you steal?
Him: Wha?
Me: Do you steal?
Him: Huh? No.
Me: Then why are you using my voice without permission?
Him: Dur...
Other Kids: OMGWTF? Srsly?!!!!1!1

Alright, that last part is just ridiculousness, but it got their attention. And when I've got their attention I have to use it as quickly I as can. I haven't had to do too much yelling so far today like I did last week. Giving them the evil eye works fairly well. I've got a better list of mammas to call this year too - more complete that is. Progress is small but already apparent.

Another one that makes them think long enough to stop talking and pay attention for at least a minute: If you're running your mouth to your neighbor when you're supposed to thinking that's just a whole lot of stupid coming out. I got too many smart kids in this class to hear all this stupid in my room. Well, that one's worn off since last week. They keep me on my mental toes, though.

And one more thing: the freakin' bathroom. I spend more time dealing with kids who need to go to the bathroom than is probably normal. "Can I go to the bathroom?" No. "Can I go to the bathroom now?" No. "But I never got to go at lunch." Tough. "Can I go to the bathroom NOW?" NO.

Excuse me, but I have ABSOLUTELY NO SYMPATHY for some kid who spent all their time chasing girls on the yard to remember that they had to pee and now that they are back in class suddenly they really have to go right this second. Kid, I'll have you know, at 1:30 p.m. I have been awake since 5:30 a.m. and have peed exactly ONCE and will not see a bathroom for another three hours. AND I've been on my feet, working on filling your brain with vital information all this time. Ask me to go to the bathroom again, you little punkass - I goddamn DARE YOU.

Still some good conversation floating around the interwebs re: RT3. Check out comments at Pistolette's post for an ongoing debate. I certainly have more to say on the subject but right now, papers to grade, kids to assess, lessons to plan.

And peeing.

Particularly like the Suspect Device summary of the education panel for RT3.

allow me to stand up for my flawed little institution

After RT3 yesterday, I was inspired to catch up on the blogs of panelists that I either had never read or only scanned briefly a long time ago.

Still trying to process a lot of this Dirty South Bureau post, especially the references to TAP and Algiers. But my brain is snotted up and it's way too early for a Sunday so pardon me if I'm incoherent and too brief.

First of all TAP and the incentive-based pay. I can't speak for the pay, as last year was my school's "practice" year with TAP. This year it really kicks in. While there are things about TAP I find annoying, my master teacher was a huge help to me. It has been hard to find help with my content (math - and now science) but when it comes to teaching more effectively and managing my kids more effectively TAP, at least for me, did a helluva lot of good. I was a crap teacher at the beginning of last year but I was lucky to have good advice. Am I a fluke? Am I being duped?

I've been feeling uncomfortable about this sort of attitude I got yesterday that bringing these new teachers in is bad and all our old, experienced teachers must be good. There will always be new teachers, a need for new blood. And, yeah, they will probably always suck in the beginning. I did. I'm still a work in progress. And I hardly want to insinuate that all the old New Orleans public school teachers who got fired were horrible and needed to go, however, in my experience with some of the "old guard" I've seen a resistance to change, a resistance to learning and continued education, that I find disturbing. When given the opportunity (multiple times) to go to conferences, expand their knowledge, participate in meaningful professional development, there were many of our more experienced teachers who resisted. They didn't care to go. I can't see passing that opportunity up.

I'm seeing experienced teachers who are opposed to the nationwide movement toward inclusion in the classroom. Special Education is something that should happen in an isolated environment as far as some people are concerned, because that's the way they've done it for decades. Because children with special needs are a hassle, a problem to be pushed aside. And I'm getting their kids and finding out how poorly socialized they are, ill-prepared to function in a classroom, and lulled into this idea that because they have been labeled "special ed" that they don't have to work to pass because they're too dumb to do what they other kids do. Because teachers don't want these kids. It's fucking appalling.

Yes, there are some long-term vets I know who I look up to as great teachers. But there are also some veteran teachers that make my skin crawl, that make me fear for the kids they teach. And it's because of those teachers that I don't have a problem with my lack of job security, my one-year contract. If I'm not doing my job well, they should damn well find somebody else who can. Because we can't afford to have mediocre teachers for our kids. We can't afford to have teachers who sit back and believe that just getting by is good enough. We have something to fucking prove and we have classrooms full of kids who have a shit future if we don't. Am I crazy to believe that teaching should be high-stakes and competitive because if its not then we're doing our kids a disservice?

I'm actually surprised that the fellow second-year teacher on the panel didn't stand up to defend his position as one of us TFA/alternative certification/fast-track smartass-kids-who-want-to-change-the-world better. I found that I spent a lot of the panel yesterday actually feeling vaguely offended (maybe I'm more conservative/neoliberal/reactionary/whatever than I know) and the more I read and the more I write the more that feeling solidifies.

I need to shower and ruminate on this some more.

more rising tide mental purging

Rising Tide III was worth skipping derby, if only to give me things to chew on in my blog. While everything else was interesting in its own right, I'm still mentally stuck on all the things said during the education panel because that's really the only area under discussion where I feel like I can have any sort of informed opinion (and even then, huge gaps in my knowledge). As I said before, this really needed a whole other conference to really get at the heart of the matter and cover everything that ought to be covered. I was physically shaking half-way through just through sheer frustration/inspiration/information overload.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around a thought that hasn't quite made all its connections yet. All sorts of information that I have just been too busy or sheltered to stumble across yet, new perspectives. But let me say that Cliff was a valuable addition to the panel and I wanted to hear more from him. After a lot of discussion today about those who are working to undermine and privatize public schools and some pretty direct negativity about the state of charters in the city, what I felt was lacking was a sense of what's going right (if anything) and what parents want for their kids. Cliff brought that, I think, but we need more.

When I was at the CEC conference in Boston this spring, I attended a presentation about a program that was aimed at helping families who had to deal with multiple government agencies (schools, social workers, probation officers, etc), consolidating their needs. And what the organizers found to be the most effective way to get the parents to "buy in" was not to try and tell them what to do or dictate what they should have to run their families or their kids' lives. It was simply to ask them what they needed and then to provide that. It made the biggest difference in the long run as far as improvement for students with special needs in inner city schools and their acheivement levels.

This comes to mind now because of what was brought up in the panel about charters being created or schools being converted without community imput. It is desparately needed, however, I don't believe that New Orleans has the mechanism to really reach out to the parents. And, as great as the blogger community is here, I don't know that this is even an effective medium to really get to some of the most isolated and marginalized people in the city. The people who really need someone to just ask them what they need. Not to tell them what help they are going to get (which is what our school systems are doing in large part) but to really get out there and ask people what help they really want.

More is brewing in the synapses, but I'll take an interwebs breather for now.

the past, present, and future of elementary and secondary education in new orleans

Edit: Hit up Maitri for a good outline of the panel discussion.

Can't think fast enough, can't type fast enough, can't make connections fast enough. I've got a couple pages of frantic handwritten notes that I'm trying to compile into something coherent as this panel wraps up and it's just entirely too much. I'm going to be blogging about this for days (or, at my post rate, probably a couple months).

Bullet points that I needneedneed to talk about:

- confusion for teachers/parents/everyone in our fractured lack of cohesive school system
- need for community involvement / vote in the system
- charters roll dismantling the public schools? / privatization
- price of our current state of "individual choice" any worse than flight to the suburbs?
- unions?
- what about incentive-based pay? continued teacher education? contracts?
- perceptions tainted by past bitter experiences / need for outreach
- public school is still a dirty word
- charter PR machines / are charters keeping their promises?
- when are charters good? bad?

There's more but wait. I am torn by the feeling that there are serious problems with many of the charters / privately run schools / and the fractured system that New Orleans Schools is currently working with - but also there is a lot of hostility toward the charter movement here and I work for a large charter association in the city. Personally, professionally I LOVE my school. I see charters working, building community, reaching out to parents, educating the kids who live right down the block from me. It kills me to hear the negative that's dominated and I'm trying desparately to put my thoughts together to counter that, to put out that there is something working with this new, weird, fucked-up way that we are dealing with now. Am I lucky? Are my kids just lucky to have a charter association in their neighborhood that seems to be working overall? Am I biased? Yeah, in a big way. The last thing I want to hear is how charters here are not working because I see them working. I see mine working. Yes, there are bad charters in this city. Yes, they are terribly imperfect and inconsistent in quality and intent.

Charter schools must be prepared to deliver upon the promises that they are making to people. I understand that that is not happening city-wide but I believe that it is beginning to happen at my school, in my neighborhood, in Algiers in general. The skeptics are right to be skeptical of what's going on but I'm still waiting to hear a viable plan to reconstitute a coherent system that works. Fine, the system is still broken in its own way - but if you are out there yelling about it, please someone tell me and point me in the direction of someone somewhere who has a concrete plan to fucking do something about it.

Parents have an insane amount of choices right now and I think that is great. I don't think that it is necessarily a bad thing, although it does create new issues to deal with. Those choices are not always good or easy to make; parents don't have all the information they need to be informed about their childrens' education, nor is that information easy to obtain. Schools make promises that perhaps they are not ready or prepared to keep and that's doing a disservice to kids and parents who are trying to make something better of New Orleans and their lives. But I can't help but think of the way public education works throughout our nation, the struggle to move to more affluent neighborhoods so that your kids can go to the good public schools, the flight to suburbia because schools in the city are screwed up. If I ever have children I don't want to have to choose between paying for private school or moving out of a neighborhood I love for the sake of their education. If I ever have kids I want them to live in New Orleans, not out in suburban wasteland (sorry suburbanites, but it is not for me). I guess what I'm getting at is: is the way we have now so much worse than the old way?

We've got to be doing something right even a little because people have faith that public school can work again.

More later. Must eats.

teh geek

Blogging the Rising Tide III - wifi is a marvelous invention.

Actually just sitting here drinking coffee and being totally weirded out by seeing so much of the N.O. blogger community in person for the first time last night and today.

Edit for 11:01 - and so begins the education panel. This is why I'm here.

playing hooky?

So I think I'm gonna hit the Rising Tide conference on Saturday morning. It's derby bootcamp this weekend but I can't really afford to drive to Houma and spend that much time when I need to be focused on school right now. No, that's just my excuse to go rub elbows.

I'm tired. I'm losing my voice. The attitudes are starting to show. But it's a good challenge and I'm not burned out yet.

the first day of school: year two

The first day of my second year of teaching has come and gone, serving only to reinforce something I began to believe pretty early on last school year. While the first year of teaching is necessary, kids who get a first year teacher are going to miss out on some level. Which is just to say that being more organized, more confident, and more prepared this year makes the challenges ahead seem less daunting than they were this time a year ago. Today went smoothly for the most part, even eerily so. I feel good about my ability to manage a teach this year's group but I also will miss having some of my old students in class. That said, it was good to see the old kids and know that I don't have those old problems to cope with on a daily basis (save a few students who are back with me). I have a new dynamic, a new set-up, a new system, and a somewhat-wizened outlook on the whole. I did spend a good amount of time with the 7th grade teachers helping them organize their classes and giving them the info on their new brood.

This year is the year of the hardass. It's the year of parent accountability and the year of student accountability. Actions, rewards, consequences, consistency. I felt pretty good today but the kids were wary and sedate and I know that won't last forever. I'm working on having a better system of student responsibilities and the kids seem to enjoy the little jobs that always need done in a classroom. Last year I tried to do too much myself and it was chaotic and difficult. This year, for the most part, I don't want to do anything but teach and grade papers. My kids should do the rest.

As always, I've got some super students who will be far ahead of me and I've got some students with severe exceptionalities. I didn't even really know where to start last year, but this time around I know better what to look for, what to prepare for, who to talk to, and how to evaluate the kids' needs. Pre-testing is on already and I'm giving out extra credit left and right to get kids to be prepared and organized early. But this class will be different from the last in a whole ton of ways, the biggest being that most of these kids have passed the 4th grade LEAP (I could not say this for most of my students last year).

The more I write in this post, the more I realize how general I'm being. I'm tired and trying to push through it. There's work to do. But first, time to go watch it rain from my front porch.

t-minus 4 days

I don't even have students yet and I am absolutely exhausted. Lots of work has been done in my classroom and I hope to take some pictures and post them up tomorrow.

On a disappointing note, I realized today that having three 6th grade classes is impossible. I will have two very long classes and I am very, very, very unhappy about it. It totally destroys my plans. It actually kind of makes me dread my life. I honestly don't know how elementary teachers put up with the same group of kids all day - I can barely handle 90 minutes. Now I'll have them nearly three hours each class. Last year that was a nightmare. But somehow I'm going to have to make it work.

on the job again

Today was the teachers' first day officially back on the job at ye olde John McDonogh #32 Literacy Charter School (one of oh-so-many exciting changes that have been going on while I've been in my summer hibernation). There was so much at the morning introduction that I had to take notes. Now that I look at my notes there is so much that it seems best to list the highlights:

- we have three (count 'em - 3) assistant principals
- a reading specialist!
- a Spanish teacher
- a full time middle school art teacher (who lives across the hall from me and I already like her a lot)
- 2 extra social workers
- parents will be required (to the best of the school's ability) to volunteer 1 hour per week
- community service and service learning focus in learning
- 90 minute planning periods!! (though only three days per week)
- TAP (Teacher Advancement Program) in full swing means performance-based pay
- lots of toys and new technology

As for the state of my affairs, this year will be a year of big changes and big challenges. It never seems to end. I suppose that's the way education should be - how exhausting. And awesome. As I mentioned before, I will be teaching 6th grade math once again with the added challenge of teaching 6th grade science (chemistry and physics - my two least favorite sciences). Because I am the science teacher I was given a Promethean board in my classroom, which is quite possibly the most exciting toy-tool that any teacher could ever have.



It makes planning lessons seem so much more exciting, quizzes less of a pain in the ass, and technology in the classroom that is a thousand times more useful to me and my kids than a couple of computers that only get used for MySpace and other illicit non-educational purposes. I am probably speaking technology teaching sacrilege to say so, but I hate having PCs in the classroom and I am happy to have them removed. That being said, our school has laptop carts now (a laptop for every student in the class with a wireless connection - sweet!) which I certainly plan to put to use.

The daily schedule looks slightly more sane on paper, but we shall see. We continue to work on a block schedule (90 minute periods) and I'll have three classes. The upcoming class is supposed to be fairly small so I believe I will have an average of 10 kids per class period which, when you think about it, is absolutely unheard of in a public school like ours! These estimates, however, will probably end up being closer to 15 per class which is still more than educationally reasonable. No word on the numbers of kids with exceptionalities yet, but I hope to get access to files and names by mid-week.

Still debating how to juggle my two subjects. Last year, for the brief and completely overwhelming period that I had both subjects to teach, I had two classes on three hour blocks and tried to split the class time with absolutely no success. I think my best bet is to teach math MWF and science on TTh. This strikes me as the sane way to go about things. Yes? I wish I knew more experienced teachers out there on the vast interwebs who might give a little input on such things. But this is, alas, a blog mostly for my own cathartic benefit with a tiny readership. And I am a terrible networker.

The process of putting up bulletin boards and attempting to arrange my classroom today lead to more chaos than progress. But I'm excited. Things are new and strange and seem to be moving even faster - yet the school appears more prepared in general than last year. Better prepared. Better equipped. I can't find the actual listing at the moment but at the beginning of last year #32 was at the very bottom of the barrel in New Orleans according to the state tests. After just one year, it is now in the top 30% of New Orleans schools. Which is just huge. Granted, that isn't even remotely good enough when you consider the state of New Orleans test scores. Still, there is momentum.

Gotta keep running.

cleaning up, clearing out

This paperwork disaster is my classroom. No more bulletin boards, no more posters, no more students in desks. Just lots and lots of paper. This is me trying to get organized on multiple levels. The first is making sure I have enough evidence to back up the 20 F's I gave out (that is, for a little more perspective on the numbers, equivalent to the entirety of my homeroom class this year). Two kids to a desk--that's eight per group of four desks--with their tests and quizzes and class assignments stacking up as I clean out what's in my desk and my file cabinet. There is more paper at home.

The rest of the papers piled up in my room are worksheets and assignments that will be reused in the future, organized mostly by subject (fractions, decimals, place value, geometry, multiplication practice, integers, etc) so that I can put together the beginnings of a filing system which will hopefully make planning that much easier for next year.

And yes, there will be a next year. I just signed my new contract today. I've been told I'll be teaching science in addition to math. I sincerely hope this is not true, but at least this time I have two-and-a-half months warning to try and become a physical science expert before the kids find me out for the fraud I am.

just when you want to give up

Found while grading a make-up quiz on operations with positive and negative numbers:

"thang you for
all youve done"

The little bastards know a hundred ways to make me cry. Some of them are good.

hit or miss continues

Well, my urban learners session was affirming (hey! that's my kids!) but not particularly enlightening. A lot of recognizing my own students' behaviors, descriptions of the urban learning environment, relating to the broken discipline system, and generally feeling like someone out there is going through the same things I do on a regular basis! But they didn't really tell me anything I don't already know.

I did just get out of another session run by a Pearson rep which was actually useful. Short, to-the-point, and gives me ideas to take home that don't require a lot of investment. I'll take it. It is also good to know that some companies out there are publishing for kids who are not on level from a vocab/reading perspective. And by that I mean, not just publishing reading intervention programs or reading material, but publishing subject area texts for secondary education on elementary reading levels. A big part of the reason that my class text is pretty useless to me as a teaching tool is because the vocabulary and reading comprehension skills of my students are not yet up to the level of the book. The text is abstract and the vocabulary is difficult for students who can barely read. Even when the text uses concrete examples and modeling, the instructions are too difficult to interpret for my students. So I am forced to improvise. Wouldn't it be grand to have a text written on a lower reading level with all the same content?

conventioning in Boston

So here I am at the Hynes Convention Center, skipping out on my first session of the day because it's boring as hell and not particularly helpful. I took my copy of the power point and left. I started a 'strand' of panel sessions by the Access Center on differentiation yesterday and it continued with a more specific math and science track this morning but I have been disappointed. Yesterday's module was excellent.

There are a couple words that educators throw around these days, one of which is 'differentiation' (an ambiguous term to say the least). With the laws as they are these days and inclusion (another education buzz word) in the classroom, differentiation is something that everybody says but very few really know what it means or what to do about it. We have to differentiate instruction, they say. Well that's great and all, but have you met my children? HELP! For once, during the session yesterday, I actually got some concrete useful information and not just lip service. I was hoping for something in-depth and math-specific this morning but I've been let down. For a two hour session, I heard everything I needed to know in 20 minutes. So here I am blogging about it.

Overall, the conference has been a bit disappointing for me. I am learning that educators can be notoriously bad about saying what they mean. And by this I mean that lectures and panels that have one title and description often turn out to be completely useless to me. I struck out twice yesterday before hitting something that had any meaning. For instance, a 'demonstration' ostensibly titled "State of Practice: Implementation of Inclusion and Prereferral Practices Across School Systems" that claimed to be about improving collaboration to improve inclusion practices (I realize that this means little to any of you out there - but it's important) turned out to be an awful slide show about the demographics of special education students in one small area of Texas. Useless to anyone not from Texas. "Strategies to Sustain Improved Outcomes for Youth with EBD and Their Families" turned out to be another data presentation with no real helpful information about what strategies were used in order to get such encouraging results. Most of my special ed students (and even those with 504 acommodations) have some sort of EBD (emotional/behavioral disability) classification and I need help, ideas, a starting point. It's why I came to this conference in the first place. So far, I got nothing. Most of the presenters I've seen have been preoccupied with presenting the specifics of the data from their studies without ever telling me how I can use the results of their study to benefit me or my school district. That's higher education for you.

I'm a math teacher. I need my presentations to be practical, to-the-point, and devoid of unnecessary information.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in the city so I took a walk around the neighborhood and admired the brownstones and enjoyed the cold but sunny weather. Today is nasty and rainy, but if it lets up any time soon I may skip out of the conference for a little while and go find the comic shop and waste some time. Either that or I'll hit the mall or Barnes & Noble and hide until 5 o'clock. Oh, but look! There is a session titled "Differentiated Instruction, Social Skills and Behavior: Teaching Urban Learners" that claims to want to give me concrete and applicable information. Off I go.