Wednesday, May 14, 2008

cleaning up, clearing out



This paperwork disaster is my classroom. No more bulletin boards, no more posters, no more students in desks. Just lots and lots of paper. This is me trying to get organized on multiple levels. The first is making sure I have enough evidence to back up the 20 F's I gave out (that is, for a little more perspective on the numbers, equivalent to the entirety of my homeroom class this year). Two kids to a desk--that's eight per group of four desks--with their tests and quizzes and class assignments stacking up as I clean out what's in my desk and my file cabinet. There is more paper at home.

The rest of the papers piled up in my room are worksheets and assignments that will be reused in the future, organized mostly by subject (fractions, decimals, place value, geometry, multiplication practice, integers, etc) so that I can put together the beginnings of a filing system which will hopefully make planning that much easier for next year.

And yes, there will be a next year. I just signed my new contract today. I've been told I'll be teaching science in addition to math. I sincerely hope this is not true, but at least this time I have two-and-a-half months warning to try and become a physical science expert before the kids find me out for the fraud I am.

correction

A full 2/5 of my students failed in the final accounting. Further accounting of the 4th quarter breakdown to follow.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

in the final account

Today was the last day of school for the kids. I thought I would feel better, lighter. But no. Today was embattled. I knew I would win but winning felt like crap. Because nearly a quarter of the class failed and it was my F that failed them. I know my boss has my back and I know that the F's were right (and also that there should have been a couple more). But I know the kids don't feel that way and there will be parents who don't feel that way. I had one other person at the school point out the discrepency (F in math next to C's and B's in other subjects) and comment that it does not "look right." I agree. There is something wrong with that. There is something wrong when my kids can't read their damn report card but the only class they failed was my math class. Can't shake the feeling that the comment was directed at me, though. Despite all that, I can't in good conscience say that the kids who failed deserve a better grade. So I stuck to it, in tears in the office agonizing over how to help these kids with no way to go. Frustrated and fighting. Because it's too late now. It's done.

There are few things more heartbreaking than watching my children fail.

I need a drink.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

there is a lot that's left to say

Went to see Hurricane on the Bayou at the IMAX with the kids today.

Just about all of us cried.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

just when you want to give up

Found while grading a make-up quiz on operations with positive and negative numbers:

"thang you for
all youve done"

The little bastards know a hundred ways to make me cry. Some of them are good.

square one

Today was horrible. I wish I had something more reflective and educational to say about it, but I don't. I also am long overdue to do some proper blogging about the things I brought home from the CEC conference. Instead, I offer a formula for math teacher misery:


Where c represents the number of changes in routine throughout a given school day, s represents the total number of students a teacher is responsible for teaching in a day, a is the number of absent faculty who teach the same students, r is the number of unavailable substitutes required to monitor said students, and x represents fourth quarter daily average spring fever levels* -

[cs + (a + r)^2] * x^2 = m

*spring fever is measured on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest (students sleeping on desks) and 10 being the highest (teachers are keeping security guards posted at the doors to maintain order).

In the given formula, m will be equal to the math teacher's daily misery level. Values of m surpassing 7,000 dmu (daily misery units) may result in increased door-slamming and erratic behavior. Values that approach or exceed 8,000 dmu have been linked in completely unscientific studies to an increased likelihood that the given math teacher will be forced to leave the room before she either a)grabs a child by the throat or b)sobs uncontrollably in frustration.

Friday, April 04, 2008

hit or miss continues

Well, my urban learners session was affirming (hey! that's my kids!) but not particularly enlightening. A lot of recognizing my own students' behaviors, descriptions of the urban learning environment, relating to the broken discipline system, and generally feeling like someone out there is going through the same things I do on a regular basis! But they didn't really tell me anything I don't already know.

I did just get out of another session run by a Pearson rep which was actually useful. Short, to-the-point, and gives me ideas to take home that don't require a lot of investment. I'll take it. It is also good to know that some companies out there are publishing for kids who are not on level from a vocab/reading perspective. And by that I mean, not just publishing reading intervention programs or reading material, but publishing subject area texts for secondary education on elementary reading levels. A big part of the reason that my class text is pretty useless to me as a teaching tool is because the vocabulary and reading comprehension skills of my students are not yet up to the level of the book. The text is abstract and the vocabulary is difficult for students who can barely read. Even when the text uses concrete examples and modeling, the instructions are too difficult to interpret for my students. So I am forced to improvise. Wouldn't it be grand to have a text written on a lower reading level with all the same content?

conventioning in Boston

So here I am at the Hynes Convention Center, skipping out on my first session of the day because it's boring as hell and not particularly helpful. I took my copy of the power point and left. I started a 'strand' of panel sessions by the Access Center on differentiation yesterday and it continued with a more specific math and science track this morning but I have been disappointed. Yesterday's module was excellent.

There are a couple words that educators throw around these days, one of which is 'differentiation' (an ambiguous term to say the least). With the laws as they are these days and inclusion (another education buzz word) in the classroom, differentiation is something that everybody says but very few really know what it means or what to do about it. We have to differentiate instruction, they say. Well that's great and all, but have you met my children? HELP! For once, during the session yesterday, I actually got some concrete useful information and not just lip service. I was hoping for something in-depth and math-specific this morning but I've been let down. For a two hour session, I heard everything I needed to know in 20 minutes. So here I am blogging about it.

Overall, the conference has been a bit disappointing for me. I am learning that educators can be notoriously bad about saying what they mean. And by this I mean that lectures and panels that have one title and description often turn out to be completely useless to me. I struck out twice yesterday before hitting something that had any meaning. For instance, a 'demonstration' ostensibly titled "State of Practice: Implementation of Inclusion and Prereferral Practices Across School Systems" that claimed to be about improving collaboration to improve inclusion practices (I realize that this means little to any of you out there - but it's important) turned out to be an awful slide show about the demographics of special education students in one small area of Texas. Useless to anyone not from Texas. "Strategies to Sustain Improved Outcomes for Youth with EBD and Their Families" turned out to be another data presentation with no real helpful information about what strategies were used in order to get such encouraging results. Most of my special ed students (and even those with 504 acommodations) have some sort of EBD (emotional/behavioral disability) classification and I need help, ideas, a starting point. It's why I came to this conference in the first place. So far, I got nothing. Most of the presenters I've seen have been preoccupied with presenting the specifics of the data from their studies without ever telling me how I can use the results of their study to benefit me or my school district. That's higher education for you.

I'm a math teacher. I need my presentations to be practical, to-the-point, and devoid of unnecessary information.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in the city so I took a walk around the neighborhood and admired the brownstones and enjoyed the cold but sunny weather. Today is nasty and rainy, but if it lets up any time soon I may skip out of the conference for a little while and go find the comic shop and waste some time. Either that or I'll hit the mall or Barnes & Noble and hide until 5 o'clock. Oh, but look! There is a session titled "Differentiated Instruction, Social Skills and Behavior: Teaching Urban Learners" that claims to want to give me concrete and applicable information. Off I go.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Council for Exceptional Children Expo

So I'm in Boston for the CEC conference. It's more than a little on the chilly side but I'm hoping that it will be worth it. If nothing else, I've gotten away from the kids and out of town for a few days. I get to spend it feeling all professional and enjoying my swanky hotel room and the fabulous king-size bed and flat screen TV. Also hoping that I can do some good American consuming downtown between sessions and escape the group I'm with. Not feeling very social. Up for an adventure.

Anyway, perhaps I'll have something interesting and educational to blog about tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Spring Break!

Because today is my Friday and I don't have to go back to work until next Wednesday, I am not going to talk about my own students at all today. But I did want to share a gem of the internets.



I am still laughing my ass off over this one. This comic is an alternate reality version of my life for the last eight months. I can't even tell you - there are not words sufficient.