racism goes all sorts of ways

Everyday is a battle. A battle for control, a battle for their brains, a battle for respect.

It is hard for me, on days like today has been, to remember that my kids don't know any better. But the racism is there. And there's very little that I can say or do about it. Today the english teacher had a substitute for her first class who was a white woman. The students couldn't talk about anything else except that the sub was a white lady and it just broke my heart. I can't tell whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that they could just blurt it out in front of me. But the other day one of my students called me a 'stupid white bitch' and once is all it takes to make the point. Many of my kids have no respect for people who aren't black. But they'll be the first ones to call me a racist.

I won't even talk about the homophobia. I'm too tired to even try and describe the insanity that is my classroom this week. I just don't know what to do.

Some days, I just don't want to fight anymore.