the answer is no

Good day in the classroom today overall. My second class of mostly boys needs some serious whip-crackin' but I ain't playin' benefit-of-the-doubt like I did last year. I told the class that if they were going to abuse the privilege of having a voice in my classroom that all their voices belonged to me until further notice. Some of them had the ownership of their feet commandeered until further notice as well. This seemed to get their attention at least for a little while especially when one mouthful of trouble couldn't remember what silence is. The scene looked something like this:

Student talks to another student across the room, despite directions to complete assignment silently.
Me: Do you steal?
Him: Wha?
Me: Do you steal?
Him: Huh? No.
Me: Then why are you using my voice without permission?
Him: Dur...
Other Kids: OMGWTF? Srsly?!!!!1!1

Alright, that last part is just ridiculousness, but it got their attention. And when I've got their attention I have to use it as quickly I as can. I haven't had to do too much yelling so far today like I did last week. Giving them the evil eye works fairly well. I've got a better list of mammas to call this year too - more complete that is. Progress is small but already apparent.

Another one that makes them think long enough to stop talking and pay attention for at least a minute: If you're running your mouth to your neighbor when you're supposed to thinking that's just a whole lot of stupid coming out. I got too many smart kids in this class to hear all this stupid in my room. Well, that one's worn off since last week. They keep me on my mental toes, though.

And one more thing: the freakin' bathroom. I spend more time dealing with kids who need to go to the bathroom than is probably normal. "Can I go to the bathroom?" No. "Can I go to the bathroom now?" No. "But I never got to go at lunch." Tough. "Can I go to the bathroom NOW?" NO.

Excuse me, but I have ABSOLUTELY NO SYMPATHY for some kid who spent all their time chasing girls on the yard to remember that they had to pee and now that they are back in class suddenly they really have to go right this second. Kid, I'll have you know, at 1:30 p.m. I have been awake since 5:30 a.m. and have peed exactly ONCE and will not see a bathroom for another three hours. AND I've been on my feet, working on filling your brain with vital information all this time. Ask me to go to the bathroom again, you little punkass - I goddamn DARE YOU.

Still some good conversation floating around the interwebs re: RT3. Check out comments at Pistolette's post for an ongoing debate. I certainly have more to say on the subject but right now, papers to grade, kids to assess, lessons to plan.

And peeing.

the first day of school: year two

The first day of my second year of teaching has come and gone, serving only to reinforce something I began to believe pretty early on last school year. While the first year of teaching is necessary, kids who get a first year teacher are going to miss out on some level. Which is just to say that being more organized, more confident, and more prepared this year makes the challenges ahead seem less daunting than they were this time a year ago. Today went smoothly for the most part, even eerily so. I feel good about my ability to manage a teach this year's group but I also will miss having some of my old students in class. That said, it was good to see the old kids and know that I don't have those old problems to cope with on a daily basis (save a few students who are back with me). I have a new dynamic, a new set-up, a new system, and a somewhat-wizened outlook on the whole. I did spend a good amount of time with the 7th grade teachers helping them organize their classes and giving them the info on their new brood.

This year is the year of the hardass. It's the year of parent accountability and the year of student accountability. Actions, rewards, consequences, consistency. I felt pretty good today but the kids were wary and sedate and I know that won't last forever. I'm working on having a better system of student responsibilities and the kids seem to enjoy the little jobs that always need done in a classroom. Last year I tried to do too much myself and it was chaotic and difficult. This year, for the most part, I don't want to do anything but teach and grade papers. My kids should do the rest.

As always, I've got some super students who will be far ahead of me and I've got some students with severe exceptionalities. I didn't even really know where to start last year, but this time around I know better what to look for, what to prepare for, who to talk to, and how to evaluate the kids' needs. Pre-testing is on already and I'm giving out extra credit left and right to get kids to be prepared and organized early. But this class will be different from the last in a whole ton of ways, the biggest being that most of these kids have passed the 4th grade LEAP (I could not say this for most of my students last year).

The more I write in this post, the more I realize how general I'm being. I'm tired and trying to push through it. There's work to do. But first, time to go watch it rain from my front porch.

t-minus 4 days

I don't even have students yet and I am absolutely exhausted. Lots of work has been done in my classroom and I hope to take some pictures and post them up tomorrow.

On a disappointing note, I realized today that having three 6th grade classes is impossible. I will have two very long classes and I am very, very, very unhappy about it. It totally destroys my plans. It actually kind of makes me dread my life. I honestly don't know how elementary teachers put up with the same group of kids all day - I can barely handle 90 minutes. Now I'll have them nearly three hours each class. Last year that was a nightmare. But somehow I'm going to have to make it work.

being a work-a-holic is not for the weak of immune system

Once again, it is Monday night and I find myself sitting at a table across from unapologetic at Rue de la Course. It is way more productive than being in my house these days, as my house tends to be entirely too comfortable and sucks all motivation out of me. Considering how far behind I am (still) on my workload, spending a couple nights a week at the coffee shop until midnight is good for me. Considering how little sleep I'm getting on account of it, this time spent is bad for my health. Since life in New Orleans right now is bad for my health, it was decidedly good for my health to escape to Destin for the weekend with friends.

Of course, I got nothing done. (Unless you consider procuring a mild sunburn and building a sand fortress on the beach to be productive.) But the sun and the company temporarily cured one hell of a nasty cold, which has crept back up on me since we got back to town last night (probably because I don't have my lovely derby wife around to make me shoot Emergen-Cs and eat properly).

Tonight I am supposed to be updating the gradebook (3-half-weeks behind!), writing tomorrow's lesson plan, and working on my Teacher Work Sample for school. Oh, and filling out potential retention forms. And putting together make-up work for students. And tearing my eyes out. Trying to chip away a little at a time without stressing out about everything too much. Since I wasted the past two weekends on having way too much fun with my friends, this next weekend needs to be about getting work done (and maybe just having a moderate amount of fun with my friends).

The kids - what can I say about the kids? I get the feeling that my relationship with my students is generally on an upswing. Even on a sucky day, I feel calmer, better able to ride out the flash hormonal shifts and abuse. It's much easier to leave the kids at school. I bring the work home but not so much the children anymore, and that is good for my overall sanity. It's way too emotionally draining to bring all their problems home with me all the time. That said, I am noticing that my kids are sharing more little tidbits out of their lives. I'm hearing more, they are less secretive around me and I think overall that is a good thing. My teacher "with-itness" is improving. I can catch the shenanigans most of the time before it gets out of hand and I can often get what I want with a well-place glare or a raised eyebrow in individual cases.

Relationships with my most difficult students are mostly looking up these days but I find that the mood changes as soon as everyone gets comfortable. A was a model student today after last week's blowout and reconciliation. D's classroom behavior has seen a dramatic turn for the better the past week and he's expressed to me what appears to be his most genuine desire thus far to make good and try to learn something. I realize that this will last only so long as nothing really horrific happens at home for him, but I'll take it while I've got it. I guess what I'm getting at is that I've become more tolerant and more attuned to what triggers my students' episodes. Still haven't figured out what the hell to do about Blackbird. She was supposed to be up for suspension after some crazy tantrums in my room last week but it got lost in the paperwork. Next time I will insist. Her parents need to be faced with the seriousness of their daughter's troubles. At this point, I do not get the impression that they truly understand what kinds of fucked up is going on in her head right now. (But hey, that's just my uninformed opinion on the matter.) I don't understand it, either, but I know that it is a serious problem in my classroom that isn't doing her or anyone else any good.

In other news, my anonymity is about to be non-existent. Because I'm using derby to get the word out about my school and when all the details are ready, I will post them here.

For now, though, back to the gradebook.

an educational economy

Life, at this exact moment, is all about surviving the next two weeks. The enormous amount of papers, assignments, grading, and pre-Thanksgiving stress leading right up to the next derby bout of Antoinettes versus Punches. But I did just get back from a pretty cool presentation on a third grade class room that is run like a corporation. It gives me hope for the rest of my school year, that it can be saved. Basically this guy started and economy in his classroom, beginning much like I had wanted to do originally with paying for desired behaviors. I just wasn't on my game enough at the start of school to implement anything effectively. But I think that now, listening to what he's done, I could probably handle it and I think it would work wonders for my kids. So that's something.

Also, I'm debating about having my derby life intertwine with my school life. I want to get the rollergirls to do something with my school or just my sixth grade, but I realize that it would probably compromise my school's anonymity out in the internets and beyond. Not that I have many blog readers, and not that I'm a particularly popular rollergirl, but it would be out there for anyone and everyone and I would have to cope with that. It will probably be just fine, but still I'm sure that there would be consequences that even I can't imagine, good or bad.

In the effort to make my tests more LEAP-like, to better prepare my kids for the 6th grade iLEAP and beyond, I gave a mostly multiple choice test today. I am wary of grading it, as I don't know new levels of disappointment my kids can dredge up. On the other hand, my hope when I was writing the test was that it would actually make things easier on some level. Kids would have choices, an idea of what the answer might be. On the other hand, a lot of my kids see multiple choice and just start circling answers without paying much attention to what the answer means. Here goes nothing.

"ms. em, you got rythm"

I have been working on not yelling. I really don't like yelling. And it doesn't work anyway. I just have to be patient but I got frustrated too early and lost sight of the fact that a few weeks may not be enough to get the kids under control. It may take a few more. So even though my kids were little hellions today, I did not yell. And my kids responded to it a little bit. I had several of them say that they liked my class today, that I am their favorite teacher now that I don't yell anymore (after two days--oh the short memories!). The english teacher has been having problems with them and her frustration is showing. Now the kids' loyalties have shifted quickly. That's the nature of the middle schooler, I suppose.

Also, some of my problem kids are starting to calm down. My worst student was momentarily my best student today. He was for maybe three minutes, the only student in my class following directions to sit down and be quiet. And I made as big a deal about it as I could to the whole class. Yesterday he actually did his work in class and I was so proud. I know that he has issues and he is severely behind but I want him to see that it is worth it - that he's not dumb and he can be something better than all this if he just makes better choices. I really want to like this kid.

This afternoon the school held a sock hop. Rather there were two consecutive sock hops - one for the little kids and one for the older kids. It was the most fabulous thing I've ever seen. All the little elementary school babies dancing around knew the lyrics and the moves for all the songs and we had the most fun ever with them. With our middle school kids, the hormones of course put a damper on it a little, but they were also a pretty good time to be around. A couple of my younger students got me to come dance with them and pretty soon I had a ring of middle schoolers chanting, "Go, Ms. Em! Go, Ms. Em!" and I earned myself some cool points. It was even funnier to see the other teachers dancing around and the kids totally loved it. In my middle school days, if a teacher started dancing with us we would have thought they were the weirdest, most uncool people on the planet. But the culture here is a little different. In my middle school days, we wouldn't have had a second line out of the cafeteria to end the dance either.

After it was over, one of the girls from my homeroom looked at me like I was this whole other person and said, "Ms. Em, you got rhythm!"

I win.

use it or lose it

How do I describe today? "Completely fucking crazy" doesn't seem to it justice. The kids were just out of control today. "The kids" meaning the 6th grade. The rest of the school seemed to be going along as normal. All three of my classes spent more time getting reprimanded or something by either myself, the para, the disciplinarian/interventionist, or the principal than they spent doing anything else. Something happened in another teacher's class which I believe involved punching the teacher. In my first period class, I had one of the school's master teacher's in my room doing an observation and something one of my students did really didn't go over well with her. Not sure exactly what happened. Three adults in the room at one time and the kids acted like animals. For my second period class, the interventionist came in and took over for the first half hour or so because of something that happened with another teacher. He's charismatic enough that the students were all dying to participate while he went over the bell work. They've never ever done that for me. It took a long time and he ripped into them about it and they sat in awe. I don't get it. For my third period class, when the came back from the lunch the principal came into the room and started laying the smack down on account of all the crazy behavior from the day. Snippets form the principal's aforementioned smack down included a hint that one teacher had threatened to quit as well as, and I paraphrase, "We work hard for you, we work everyday for you, we have conferences all the time to try and solve the problems with the 6th grade, and we have cried more than a few times for and one account of you, but you don't seem to get it how your behavior hurts you and everyone around you who's here to learn."

He said it better. Basically he told them to use it or lose it. If they want to act like animals, then move over and make room for kids on the waiting list who want to get an education. I don't suppose his threats are legal but I can at least hope it scared some sense into at least a few of my students.

Constantly working, worrying, planning, getting frustrated and trying to figure out new and better ways to do right by the kids and the kids don't see that it matters whether or not they get an education. Not all the kids. No, but it breaks my heart to see the handful of students I have who really want to learn and do better and succeed. Because they are being sabotaged by a bunch of punks who haven't got their priorities straight yet. I flat out told my last class that half of my students are failing math and why? Because they don't do their homework, because they goof off in class. Not because they're stupid and not because they can't do it. They are failing because they don't care. And I know how that goes because I almost failed math in middle school for the same reasons. Less extreme, but the same mindset. It only gets harder to catch up the longer you wait to get your act together. So if you're behind you have to start working now. Get it together now. It doesn't get any better by waiting - it only gets more and more difficult.

In short: sit down, pay attention, and get to work while there's still time to salvage your brains.

the educational tug-of-war

These first few days of school have been a learning experience, that's for sure. Trying to take the time and actually learn something from all the experience, however, that's the real challenge. I have two groups of kids and while they are all alike in many of ways, the class personalities are shaping up very differently very quickly. My homeroom kids seem to be mostly on the younger side, 11-12 (I think I even have a 10-year-old). They are antsy but most of them eager to please. My second group is a little older than the first on average and I've got more than one attitude among them.

Most of the last few days has been trying to find a balance for time management and getting my lesson plans in order. It has also been a lot of trying to maneuver for control of my classroom without being a powerless dictator. Today was a 50/50 day on the classroom management front. My homeroom group, I felt, was ready to start getting into the subject a little bit. Nothing too heavy but I needed something to keep them interested or they were going to rebel. My math crossword puzzle went over better than my other bell work activities and the science lesson was mostly a success. There were glitches, to be sure, but I felt like there was genuine learning happening today in homeroom.

The situation did not look so good for my second group of kids. Yesterday I thought we were on our way to improving the attitude but today it was on with a vengeance. One of the girls who is my biggest attitude challenge is also, I suspect, one of my smartest students but she seems determined not to give a rat's ass about school let alone the classroom rules and procedures. I have a couple artists in the class, which I love, but they are currently determined that they either can't do math or just use their hearing selectively. My science lesson with them was a complete disaster. I've cornered myself into an open power struggle with my students and I've got to find a way out fast.

There are plenty of things that I just didn't do properly right from the start, things that didn't get prepared or planned for. Part of that was the time constraints I was under, part of it just plain laziness. Now I'm paying for that but I'm patient enough not to let it get to me and just try and muddle through it. After all, it's not only my paycheck on the line.

So if anyone starts wondering why I don't go out anymore...while you're out drinking have one for me. I'll be at home, writing lesson plans and spending my paycheck on school supplies.