on the job again

Today was the teachers' first day officially back on the job at ye olde John McDonogh #32 Literacy Charter School (one of oh-so-many exciting changes that have been going on while I've been in my summer hibernation). There was so much at the morning introduction that I had to take notes. Now that I look at my notes there is so much that it seems best to list the highlights:

- we have three (count 'em - 3) assistant principals
- a reading specialist!
- a Spanish teacher
- a full time middle school art teacher (who lives across the hall from me and I already like her a lot)
- 2 extra social workers
- parents will be required (to the best of the school's ability) to volunteer 1 hour per week
- community service and service learning focus in learning
- 90 minute planning periods!! (though only three days per week)
- TAP (Teacher Advancement Program) in full swing means performance-based pay
- lots of toys and new technology

As for the state of my affairs, this year will be a year of big changes and big challenges. It never seems to end. I suppose that's the way education should be - how exhausting. And awesome. As I mentioned before, I will be teaching 6th grade math once again with the added challenge of teaching 6th grade science (chemistry and physics - my two least favorite sciences). Because I am the science teacher I was given a Promethean board in my classroom, which is quite possibly the most exciting toy-tool that any teacher could ever have.



It makes planning lessons seem so much more exciting, quizzes less of a pain in the ass, and technology in the classroom that is a thousand times more useful to me and my kids than a couple of computers that only get used for MySpace and other illicit non-educational purposes. I am probably speaking technology teaching sacrilege to say so, but I hate having PCs in the classroom and I am happy to have them removed. That being said, our school has laptop carts now (a laptop for every student in the class with a wireless connection - sweet!) which I certainly plan to put to use.

The daily schedule looks slightly more sane on paper, but we shall see. We continue to work on a block schedule (90 minute periods) and I'll have three classes. The upcoming class is supposed to be fairly small so I believe I will have an average of 10 kids per class period which, when you think about it, is absolutely unheard of in a public school like ours! These estimates, however, will probably end up being closer to 15 per class which is still more than educationally reasonable. No word on the numbers of kids with exceptionalities yet, but I hope to get access to files and names by mid-week.

Still debating how to juggle my two subjects. Last year, for the brief and completely overwhelming period that I had both subjects to teach, I had two classes on three hour blocks and tried to split the class time with absolutely no success. I think my best bet is to teach math MWF and science on TTh. This strikes me as the sane way to go about things. Yes? I wish I knew more experienced teachers out there on the vast interwebs who might give a little input on such things. But this is, alas, a blog mostly for my own cathartic benefit with a tiny readership. And I am a terrible networker.

The process of putting up bulletin boards and attempting to arrange my classroom today lead to more chaos than progress. But I'm excited. Things are new and strange and seem to be moving even faster - yet the school appears more prepared in general than last year. Better prepared. Better equipped. I can't find the actual listing at the moment but at the beginning of last year #32 was at the very bottom of the barrel in New Orleans according to the state tests. After just one year, it is now in the top 30% of New Orleans schools. Which is just huge. Granted, that isn't even remotely good enough when you consider the state of New Orleans test scores. Still, there is momentum.

Gotta keep running.

t-minus 8 days

I've fallen off the face of the earth, swimming in the abyss of time and heat and paralyzing fear and pure laziness that has been my summer hermitage. But is the eve of my return to the working world.

I get a brand new batch of children on August 11th. Math and Science (for real this time). I've got the same classroom, more work, less kids, and one week to get ready for the insanity. Here we go again.

being a work-a-holic is not for the weak of immune system

Once again, it is Monday night and I find myself sitting at a table across from unapologetic at Rue de la Course. It is way more productive than being in my house these days, as my house tends to be entirely too comfortable and sucks all motivation out of me. Considering how far behind I am (still) on my workload, spending a couple nights a week at the coffee shop until midnight is good for me. Considering how little sleep I'm getting on account of it, this time spent is bad for my health. Since life in New Orleans right now is bad for my health, it was decidedly good for my health to escape to Destin for the weekend with friends.

Of course, I got nothing done. (Unless you consider procuring a mild sunburn and building a sand fortress on the beach to be productive.) But the sun and the company temporarily cured one hell of a nasty cold, which has crept back up on me since we got back to town last night (probably because I don't have my lovely derby wife around to make me shoot Emergen-Cs and eat properly).

Tonight I am supposed to be updating the gradebook (3-half-weeks behind!), writing tomorrow's lesson plan, and working on my Teacher Work Sample for school. Oh, and filling out potential retention forms. And putting together make-up work for students. And tearing my eyes out. Trying to chip away a little at a time without stressing out about everything too much. Since I wasted the past two weekends on having way too much fun with my friends, this next weekend needs to be about getting work done (and maybe just having a moderate amount of fun with my friends).

The kids - what can I say about the kids? I get the feeling that my relationship with my students is generally on an upswing. Even on a sucky day, I feel calmer, better able to ride out the flash hormonal shifts and abuse. It's much easier to leave the kids at school. I bring the work home but not so much the children anymore, and that is good for my overall sanity. It's way too emotionally draining to bring all their problems home with me all the time. That said, I am noticing that my kids are sharing more little tidbits out of their lives. I'm hearing more, they are less secretive around me and I think overall that is a good thing. My teacher "with-itness" is improving. I can catch the shenanigans most of the time before it gets out of hand and I can often get what I want with a well-place glare or a raised eyebrow in individual cases.

Relationships with my most difficult students are mostly looking up these days but I find that the mood changes as soon as everyone gets comfortable. A was a model student today after last week's blowout and reconciliation. D's classroom behavior has seen a dramatic turn for the better the past week and he's expressed to me what appears to be his most genuine desire thus far to make good and try to learn something. I realize that this will last only so long as nothing really horrific happens at home for him, but I'll take it while I've got it. I guess what I'm getting at is that I've become more tolerant and more attuned to what triggers my students' episodes. Still haven't figured out what the hell to do about Blackbird. She was supposed to be up for suspension after some crazy tantrums in my room last week but it got lost in the paperwork. Next time I will insist. Her parents need to be faced with the seriousness of their daughter's troubles. At this point, I do not get the impression that they truly understand what kinds of fucked up is going on in her head right now. (But hey, that's just my uninformed opinion on the matter.) I don't understand it, either, but I know that it is a serious problem in my classroom that isn't doing her or anyone else any good.

In other news, my anonymity is about to be non-existent. Because I'm using derby to get the word out about my school and when all the details are ready, I will post them here.

For now, though, back to the gradebook.

manthano : learn

Not a very consistent blogger, am I?

Getting into my second week back at school, back at work, and as always no one day is like the day before. I'm never sure what insulting, insane, dangerous, funny, weird, stupid, brilliant, surprising, disappointing, maddening new tricks my children are going to come up with. Second quarter grades are up and there are disappointments and there are small victories. I find that, though quarter exam grades continue to be disappointing and discouraging, overall I am beginning to see students climb their way up the grade scale. Final grade stats for my first and second quarters are as follows:

1st Quarter: 30 Fs, 10 Ds, 3 Cs, 4 Bs, 2 As (49 Students)
2nd Quarter: 20 Fs, 10 Ds, 10 Cs, 8 Bs, 2 As (50 Students)

From 9 passing to 20 passing? At least two of my students labeled special education went from Fs to a B or C. At least one of my 504 students went from an F to a C. A few Fs raised themselves to Ds. I only have one or two who passed last quarter that did not pass this quarter and the one I know of was only in school for the last two weeks of the 1st quarter so he didn't get a chance to show his true colors before grades. I have a couple of F and D students who I can focus on now, knowing better their weaknesses and knowing who is willing to try and who just fucks around. Looking at these numbers, I finally feel like maybe I'm getting through somewhere, some little bit, even if I can't see it on a day-to-day basis and have to crunch numbers to see it. It should also be noted that Ds are not considered passing at our school as far as I know, though for some of my students I think there should be an exception, as below 75% is considered a D.

I hate to say that as a teacher I would ever pick and choose students to favor, but it is in fact true that I have about 6 students that I really feel that I can help out of the F/D hole with some more effort. I guess that goes back to a phrase that public school teachers unfortunately use a lot in this town (at least in my experience) and I'm sure it comes up in other high needs areas around the world. "You can't save them all," they tell you. And at first you think that for you it will be different but it never is. It's impossible. Kids still fall through the cracks and we can't always find the magic button that gets through to them. It's an impossible task especially as a first year teacher. I am seeing more and more the ways that my current students are disadvantaged by my inexperience, ways I will do it differently next time, ways to do things better. But I've just got to suck it up and take on the things I can take on. So I've got my handful of "project" children--children I think I can help pass 6th grade math with just a little more effort and some different strategies on my part. The others, well, I can do what I can and after that it is mostly up to them and up to their parents to take responsibility. I can only do so much.

I can only do my job. I can't be Wonder Woman.

On a slightly different note, my master teacher shared a surprisingly timely tidbit with me at our meeting yesterday. She told me that she didn't really feel comfortable teaching, didn't really know that it was the job for her, until after her third year. And it was just so comforting to hear that coming from her because she is amazing with the kids. To know that she was uncertain, that she thought about quitting, made it a little easier to think that I can survive this for at least the three years I am committed to surviving. First year is always tough for everybody, and maybe the 2nd year won't be much better, and after that isn't gonna be a magic transformation either, but maybe at least I can hope that I didn't make the wrong choice. It's a slow process, settling into this new teaching skin.

But I made another symbolic step for myself on Saturday. Took myself a little trip to Electric Ladyland and got the complimentary tattoo to the ink I had done in June. Check out Ed - he was completely awesome through the entire process, making this my most fun tattoo ever (and I do love getting inked). I owe him a rollergirl photo.

I teach. I learn.

here goes nothin'

Tomorrow it is back to the classroom. I wish I could say I am prepared, but I'm not. I did no preparation whatsoever over my vacation. I've been grading tests I should have graded three weeks ago tonight and I'm still not sure what I'm going to teach tomorrow. Behind in a lot of other important things, too, but can't get up the guilt to do them.

Me: best procrastinator ever.