Tuesday, February 10, 2009

being adult is the suckiest job EVAR!

I will put this out there early: I'm totally masochistic. I must be. Because I don't want to quit my job. While I have this fantasy idea that it would be great and stress-free and life will be better somewhere else - that is bogus. Okay, it may not be bogus, but I would be copping out on something that I want really badly. Giving up. And despite all the crazy at my school and all the stupid shit my kids do, I want to see them through. I want to be there next year when my kids from last year are in 8th grade and I find out whether I set them out right. I love it when my students, past and present, drop in at my room after school to say hello or complain about their current math teacher or ask to help me staple things to the walls or when they crowd around me on the school yard and tell me more about their day and who's picking on who and what they ate for dinner last night and can we have a class pet, Ms. Em, can we pleeezzee?

I want to start over again.

All of this is to say that I finally got my boss in his office uninterrupted for a few minutes this evening. And it was rough and I always cry like a big girl who is way too damn attached to her babies. But I brought up the issues with the other teacher and have been sufficiently assured that there is stuff going on above my head to be done about that. The kids need a serious pep-talk and the principal has agreed to pull them out tomorrow and hopefully that will help put the kids at ease and reset their brains a little and calm them down. It's been an angry week with the kids. Everybody is in a foul mood. I also brought up the certification issues and hopefully will have some extra help with that as well.

Now I just have to have "a talk" with my other teacher. I've agreed to do that, though I don't even know where to begin. I guess that's something else that I have to figure out - the professional shit. I thought it would be enough to do my job and fulfill my responsibilities and generally be a good person and respect folks. But there's also the part where you have to muster up the civility to have a conversation with someone whom you don't respect and who puts you somewhat on edge. That part of being adult fucking blows.

Mostly because I have a bad habit of crying a lot.

4 comments:

swampwoman said...

A big pull off a bottle of Jim Beam, or Jack Daniels might help you before you confront your co-worker

But seriously, tell him/her how you feel when their certain "behavior" erupts, and keep it from turning into a personal attack. If they go off on you, tell them you will not allow them to speak to you in that manner and when they are capable of conducting the discussion professionally y'all can resume the conversation - THEN WALK AWAY!

People in general are loathe to be insightful, they think it is a sign of weakness, when instead it is a tool to help promote good teamwork. If you cannot come to a meeting of the minds, then there is no hope. But 9 times out of 10, the other person has no clue how their behavior is affecting you.

Good luck, I know how tough it is confronting others.

Mer said...

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Love and happy thoughts your way! Get the convo over with today or tomorrow and then work off all your aggression on the track on Thursday! :D


And then drink a lot at the parades this weekend. You can't fail! ;)

Mark Folse said...

As a mostly silent reader here I just want to say I'm glad you stepped back from that big pit you were recently peering into. Very glad for you.

I don't see why you have to talk to your dysfunctional co-worker. Why does management everywhere (not just principles) treat everything as some sort of "communication problem". A manager (including a principle) needs to step up and do their job: manage. It's not your job to improve your failing co-worker. It's his job.

Taylor said...

OMG you are me! I cry at the drop of a hat too. But I agree with Mark. You shouldn't have to manage other teachers.

Ugh.

One thing I am sick of: people telling me, in response to this or that incompetent LOAD, "Welcome to the RSD."

Like that's supposed to be a reason to wallow in it.