me = masochist

Well, if my life wasn't surreal enough and stressful enough before, I decided to take on just one more thing. As of this next Monday I will be teaching a small group of about half a dozen 3rd graders in the mornings before school. For an hour a day I will be an elementary teacher and I'm really not sure how that will end up working out.

The good news: most of my materials are provided, we are working on pretty specific skills, the 'class' will be small, and I will get paid $25 an hour. That's $125 per week! That's my drinking money, baby. And boy, will I need me some drinking money...

The bad news: the mornings from 7-8 have traditionally been my prep time for the day ahead, so this means staying longer after school for the next day as well as coming early (I already pull 9 hours at school each day, nevermind time spent at home working). Also, I'm not trained to teach 3rd graders - what do I do with these strange creatures? Also, I have the dubious honor of teaching both math and reading (the other teachers are just teaching reading). Because I have never had to teach reading, I will happily point back to the good news, which is that most of my materials have been provided and are pretty straightforward.

This morning program is pretty much for the 'dumb' kids. I am a bad teacher in that I privately (and affectionately) refer to my students as 'my dumb ones.' They are putting the whole human race into perspective for me. Most of us are dumb, which is why education is such doomed but necessary enterprise. More accurately, parents signed their kids up for this extra time at school because they need the extra help, they are falling behind their peers, or possibly the parents just want them out of the house for an extra hour a day. I really am not sure. There are things that I like about having the 'dumb ones' but lately I've been fantasizing about a class of smart kids. I don't think I would love them or worry about them as much (my smartest kids right now are not particularly my favorites, though they are mostly good kids) but it would be a weight off my mind to have students who are less stressful. At least some of the time.

In other news, my students are cheating again. It makes me want break things, break kids even. There is one major peeve that I inherited from my father and that's a lack of integrity. It really bothers me when people lie to me like I'm stupid, like I won't know the difference, like it's no big deal. When it comes to my kids, it hurts the most even though I can't let them know that. I can't fucking stand cheaters.