this rum'n'coke is for my babies

Listening to WWL on AM radio. Just me and the roomie and the farm in this little house in a quiet little Pensafuckingcola neighborhood. Getting anxious. Worried about people.

I forgot what this was like - this being outside your life and waiting for it to start again. Still obsessing over the fact that my roll book is at school. My kids.

My students from last year always ask me if I like my new 6th graders, ask if my new students give me a hard time like they did. Some of them say that they want to be back in my class and try to sneak in jokingly after lunch or between classes. Some of them whine at me when I'm on duty in the morning that they should have failed so they could stay with me. I, of course, can't play favorites. "They're alright," I say, "We're still getting used to each other." And that's true. And always the questions about whether I have my own children. When you tell kids that your students are your children, they don't really think you're serious.

I want to be snapping at my children on Wednesday morning. I want to give them their test on Friday. I don't want to be wondering what's going to happen to them scattered around the country, lost and outcast, with people who don't understand us.

I suppose sitting here holed up in this place thinking about it isn't going to do much good though. Just waiting. Just waiting.

there is a lot that's left to say

Went to see Hurricane on the Bayou at the IMAX with the kids today.

Just about all of us cried.

Crappy Anniversary, She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named!

Yeah, it's that time again. And I am not dwelling. I've got a here and now to worry about. I spent my day with my kids, like every other weekday, and I'm okay with that. I will not watch the news, I will not read the news, I will not go on and on about this day two years ago. I remember well enough. All of us here remember.

Now's the time to keep truckin' along. In the minds of my kids, this anniversary will eventually be a long gone memory. It was just another day to them. They hardly blinked. Most of their lives will be spent in the post-K era and I'm determined that it won't be a waste spent dwelling on regrets. Standing here at two years, all my mourning is out of my system. Time to think ahead. There's tomorrow to worry about now. And the next day and the next day...

And those days are only going to get better.