everything goes to hell anyway

You love them and you love them and you love them and you try to protect them and teach them and stand up for them and fight for them and give them everything they need and raise them right when their mamas don't. You love them despite themselves and you love them because of the wonderful things they are capable of when given the chance. So you love them and you give them chances and opportunities and sometimes they step up and surprise you. And then they trample and disappoint and abuse and cheat you.

You love them no matter what. But in the end, that's what makes it so maddening and heartbreaking and all there is left in you are tears and frustration and defeat.

And like Tom Waits says, "everything goes to hell anyway."

Today was a beat down. It was hard on the resolve. All there was at the end of it was tears. I love them now more than before, which is why today hurt so much.