So exhausted. Twelve and half hours at school today to stay for Open House. Kids acting up this afternoon. Hell only knows what I'm going to do about it. But there were lots of mamas and grandmas and aunties and one father at school tonight and that is a very good sign. Makes my work harder in a good way.
But right now, too exhausted. No time for, you, Gustav - I've got kids to teach, motherfucker. Get the hell out of my way.
What do you do when your father makes you an offer that you'd be an idiot to refuse? My dad just called offered to paint my house, replace the other apartment's appliances, refinish the floors, paint the walls, do some yard work, generally fix the place up, and pay my $700 per month. If I give my renter notice to be out my May 1st and let my dad move in in June.
I'd be a lunatic to refuse. I'd be a lunatic to accept. But hell, it would be exactly like having a live-in maintenance guy on site who pays me. Really, the deal-maker is the fact that he's offering to PAINT MY HOUSE!
Dear gods, how I have longed to paint my house and make it pretty and new and bright. But there is no way I could afford it any time in the near future.
But then my dad would be living next door. And I never ever wanted to be one of those people who lives next door to their parents in their adulthood. But here I am, contemplating it. Somebody please explain to me how this could go horribly, horribly wrong.
Long day at the education today. It was open house tonight so I was at school until 7:30. Not that a 12 hour work day is anything new lately, it's just that I usually get to spend a few hours of it at home. Off my feet.
What does a teacher REALLY want for Christmas/Birthday? Really, really unbelievably comfortable shoes. Please, anyone, if you have discovered the perfect shoe for being on your feet all day everyday (while looking professional) pass the info along. As if roller derby didn't abuse my feet enough, standing and walking and confiscating notes in class all day really takes its toll.
Quote of the day (from one of the little kids): "All dad's have a dad, all mama's have a mom." Oh, but they are so cute at that age. And you can still scare some sense into them. Mine will shut up for the principal and they'll shut up for the interventionist but as soon as they are gone, so are my kids. I know it's too early to feel like a failure but I can't help but wonder if I've already lost most of my kids and I really don't know how I could have done it so much differently. I know the theory I was taught but so far all those theories have proven completely useless to me. Still got a few in the hat but I'm running out of Plan Bs, Cs, and Ds really fast.
Gods, but I hate yelling. I'm trying to stop the yelling. I broke out the big guns too soon. But then again, my kids have no fear. Nearly 14 and still in 6th grade? What the hell do you care? Everybody around you thinks your a screw-up so why even try? It's a shame. I get a lot of reminders each day that we really are all that many of these kids have got and that there are plenty of other schools in this city with the same kinds of kids (or needier). That's a lot of kids who need help, a way out, a new perspective. A lot of kids. I've only got 45 of them and I may only be able to really get to a fraction of that. Small beans in a very daunting pile.
Which brings me to my other motto. It's been repeated a few different ways but the meaning doesn't change: "Almost everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." - Gandhi
